Having friends has never been my strength. As a young girl I prayed many prayers I really wanted to be a “people magnet” but alas I am far from that. To make matters worse for me, my mom and all my sisters are effortlessly people magnets. Jeez! It wasn’t easy being me surrounded by people and none of them was”mine” ( I don’t know if this makes sense).
Anyways needless to say this behaviour fueled a very bad habit of needing to be liked and wanting to belong . The struggle to be liked was so real all my life, I saw myself the butt of jokes even when around cousins and relatives and it was like they could smell my need to be liked and despite all I did I was almost always the least liked. I tell myself have made my peace with it but I won’t lie its been a long road to being who I am now.
Don’t get me wrong oh I have friends, good ones at that and I consider myself very blessed to have such wonderful friends. 2020 however, almost resurrected long buried insecurities in me; my friendships were tested. I mean everyone of ’em even my friendship with myself was tested. Unfortunately not all of ’em successfully made it to 2021 without hassle. I spent the last few days of 2020 and the early weeks of 2021 in bed for many reasons one of ’em being the painful words of a friend. To say those words hurt would be putting it mildly.
Today I saw somewhere that “whatever life throes at you is life”. Maybe thats lifes way of teaching me or testing me I have no idea. Thankfully I am still growing and learning everyday.
Have ur friendships been tested? I’d love to hear from you. Send me an email at ori@ladyromford.com or if you’ve got a story you want to share, send it to info@ladyromford.com Have a great day.
