Murder Plans

Are we capable of committing murder? Under the right amount of pressure would you actually think of killing another human being? I have been tested in this regard and whether or not I passed is left to the reader to decide.

I had these two guys as neighbours when I was in university and they were fun to be with most times but at other times they were simply a nuisance. These boys could literally talk you to death it was not even funny. I could handle them in small doses and by small I mean 5 minutes max. I remember when they came over to say hello one time and they were supposedly just stopping by to say a quick high and then it began to rain heavily. Urghhhhh!!!!

I was so worried that they would be stuck in my house that I actually tried to convince them to go home in the rain because to be honest between their constant talking, their dry jokes and their smelly shoes I would rather pull out my hair. Alas! It was not to be… that day was such a horrible experience I even told myself I would stop talking to them and answering their greetings just so that I could end whatever friendship was fostering.

One lovely day I was sitting outside my house with my cousin who also doubled as my housemate at that time. Suddenly we saw these guys come out of their house on their way out,  it was obvious they were just going to head off but changed their minds and decided to stop by and sat hello. I remember we both groaned under our breath, rolled our eyes and sighed as we saw them walking towards our house and quickly broke out in laughter at our similar reactions. That fateful day they simply made very small talk,  said their quick hellos and headed off to class because they had a test. Thank the LORD!

After they left for their test, my cousin and I began to lament about these boys, how over bearing they could get and how blissfully oblivious they both were to how annoying they were and bla! bla!! bla!!! Suddenly out of nowhere we decided that killing these boys would be a good idea (I cannot remember which of us came up with this idea). But in that moment it sounded like the best thing ever (it just shows how annoying these guys were).

So, there we were two young students plotting the murder of our neighbours simply because they were irritating and didn’t know it. We came up with many suggestions as to how these murders would be carried out. The first plan was that whenever they came over again unannounced (which they did quite often) we would invite them to eat lunch, and put poisons in this lunch. After they had eaten, we would take them to a farm behind our house and put their bodies there for anyone to find. we decided against this because first of all  we didn’t think we would be able to evacuate their bodies without being seen and besides we would have to live in a house were two people died and so that idea was shelved.

We came up with an alternative. We lived in a part of town where there was a lot of empty fields and farms huge pieces of land and rocks surrounded our “unfenced” house and so we decided to invite them to go hiking with us. We were going to lead them to a particular rock were very fund of hanging out on and push them down these rocks. The plan was to then set the surrounding bush on fire and act like we didn’t know what happened. we changed our minds about that because these boys would probably be strong enough to survive the fall and then we could get in trouble. that plan was shelved as well

We came up with a third plan. We would get guns and simply shoot them one night and act like we knew nothing.

We were both still sitting in front of our house making murder plans when they returned from their test. They didn’t even say anything to us (probably had very bad tests). A few weeks after that the semester ended and when we returned for the second semester they didn’t return with us. They both were away from school for a semester on Industrial attachment. Phew!

Obviously, we never got around to exercising our murderous passions but I have always wondered what we would’ve done if they came back.  What level of evil am I capapble of ? I may never know.

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