The Cost of Shallow Friendships

Growing up means whether or not you like to, you will have to carry out spring cleaning in your friendships. It is actually a very painful and uncomfortable process for the average person but there is always that random “liquid metal hearted person” who will pick and drop friends like a hot potato and have absolutely no remorse ( not gonna lie I wish I were like that).

Anyways the gist today is that shallow friendships are so expensive. And ordinarily I wouldn’t use money to qualify a friendship but in this case I am referring to money. The “brunches”, the “birthdays”, the “girls trips” and all the ridiculous social activities you tend to do with these people even though in the grand scheme of things they are not your friends. The worst part is the bitter after taste in your mouth whilst you head home after yet another senseless outing were all y’all did was laugh halfheartedly and eat expensive food.

Don’t get me wrong I believe in investing in friendships (socially, financially, emotionally etc) and putting in effort to make sure you keep in touch etc but as an adult I have observed (especially because of social media) a weird trend where people have friends strictly for social activities and if not handled carefully,  the cost of these friendships/ activities hurt your pocket deep but ultimately hurt your heart.

So what’s the solution? Know who your actual friends are and recognize who you are to people around you but to get there start with your inner core after which we progress outwards. But always note that you are the first member of your inner core.

It is impossible to have and be a good friend without investing time in Knowing yourself; who you are, what you stand for, where you are going.

l have learned (albeit the hard way) to deconstruct and declassify friendships. What I mean is; I have come to the understanding and knowledge of the members of my inner core ; I have just 3 (there’s always room for more but that takes time). I would advice every christian to invite and do the work required to make surety HolySpirit is a part of your inner core.

I recognize acquaintances with whom I have a good time, those I talk to about the books I am reading, those I bounce business ideas off , etc. I now have a system and yardstick by which I determine who is who in my life. Not everyone should be enroute your inner core because it is a place of absolutes.  The inner core is reserved for family and I do not mean blood; core members have limitless access to absolutely very raw and sensitive emotion good and bad you can exhibit they have your secrets and vice versa. Anyways today is not the day to talk about friendship levels so i will leave the explanations for another time. .

The mistake I used to make was meeting a person liking them and automatically putting them enroute my inner core and even that route is too sensitive I have suffered torn ligaments , punctured lung, bruised veins and vessels etc…. hahaha

Anyways the point of this post is be deliberate in handling your friendships. If you are going on a trip with an acquaintance ,by all means go but don’t forget to keep the necessary investments for the appropriate relationships. When you do that the bitter after taste of senseless outings disappear because everything has a purpose and place and once again your friendships will be fun.