I had never been so deeply jealous in my entire life. Ok, maybe once before I was jealous of one girl in school. She seemed so put together, her outfits were always cute she had or has lovely hair, no acne, handsome hand-on boyfriend. She was one of those girls that somehow always had the latest gadgets (it was a big deal to me then because I had to work on holidays to even buy new baffs) and she wasn’t a showoff girl. I knew for a fact that she had a lot of older siblings so she may not necessarily have come from a rich home but she had some money to throw around courtesy older siblings and the fact that dad and mom had just her left in school being the youngest child and all. The worst part was the fact that she had this simple easy going gait and always had a smile and some cash to spare anyone in need so she was fun to be around. Everybody liked her she was that “cool chick” you wanted to hang around. All the girls thought she was nice and all the guys thought she was awesome (those were hard times for me) I like her too and I was super jealous of the fact that everybody wanted to be her friend but she was so nice I couldn’t hate her but boy was I jealous. I eventually graduated and I do not know where she is these days but I eventually found out she had her own evils to deal with; family issues, the boyfriend turned out to be not so cool after a while and to be honest I was more focused on sorting my life out I couldn’t waste time on someone else. I guess I can say I grew up.
Ok back to the present day jealousy…. It was so bad there were tears in my eyes literally. My husband actually became concerned for me when I started tearing up, he did not actually believe that I was crying over the fact that I was jealous. He even tried to bribe me with ice-cream, he didn’t get it. If I were a white person, I would have been so green I would’ve looked like a Nigerian flag considering I’d be way greener than I’d be white lol!
But since I’m a black Nigerian girl I probably looked more like a dark slimy-ish spirogyra-ish green …. The worst part was the physical pain I felt in my chest. It made my heart heavy like that feeling you get when you have failed an exam and you need to face your truth. My heart was probably somewhere around my stomach it was not beating or pounding as it usually should, it kind of felt like it was just vibrating a wee bit, like just enough to make the hurt a nagging hum in the pit of my stomach, it just was uncomfortable and a bit heavy.
Anyways let me explain the source of all this magnanimous and deeply emotional jealousy that seemed to be creating this atmosphere where I saw and felt dark clouds in my stomach and clouds all over the sky and bla bla bla…. I was invited for a wedding. It was a black and white wedding and the invitation specified that we dress appropriately and there was a lot of hoopla during the build up to the wedding so Mr. Man and I decided to dress up and put in the effort to conform and look good at the wedding. I bought a new white dress, did my hair and even went as far as having professional make-up done just so that the gra-gra would be complete. We were running late for the wedding ‘cos I had market runs. We got to the church late after all the guests were seated and the service had started, we snuck in through the back. Before entering I noticed there was a lot of senrenren (bougie activity) but we were already so late I wasn’t paying attention then we got into the church hall…my jaw dropped.
It was heavenly, it was luxurious, it was big and over the top, It was beautiful, it was white, and it was perfect. The church looked like heaven (I kept looking around for Jesus), the churchs’ interior is normally a mixture of colours purple carpet, purple and gold chairs wooden walls altar was a mixture of plenty colours it was a typical church setting. But that day, there literally where angels and harps hanging from the ceiling the church looked so good and white, I could literally smell white roses even though there were none. Another surprising part for me was the fact that everybody apparently got the dress-code memo because for a wedding with close to a thousand people, only three people did not dress according to the invite. (That is an achievement In Nigeria). All the women were wearing lovely white dresses looking angelic with headpieces looking like halos literally, its cheezy but I am not even exaggerating one bit. The men where in suits looking like Jesus’ messengers, the choir sang like it was a few hours to rapture, Gosh! (Money finish work for that wedding abeg). It was phenomenal the church was white from top to bottom including the floor, ceiling chairs and walls I felt my heart beating so faster I was about to have a panic attack because I could not believe I was still in Abuja.
The service was beautiful but the green eyed monster had a hold on my heart men. I just kept eyeing my husband (thinking in my heart; why isn’t this man a billionaire?). I kept reminiscing about the fact we had yet to go on a honey moon. It was so bad the poor guy was even trying to hold me during the ceremony as per sentimental things, I didn’t even want him to touch me as if it was his fault.
During the ceremony my husband noticed my demeanor and asked what exactly was wrong with me and I told him I was jealous. I was looking at somebody having a moment that I could only have dreamt about and I was envious and almost angry. He help me spoke with me and I liked that he didn’t give me that “rich people don’t have kids’ speech” (i.e. those speeches where poor people tell themselves all rich people are childless or have cancer in order to make themselves feel good for being poor) He simply held me and told me do not worry saying to me “God has got you. Your time will come and it may not be like this, but you will love it and enjoy it”. An I leaned on him and all was well
After that I was able to enjoy the rest of the ceremony with no envy at all. The reception, Oh My days!!! Fantastic. Some of the gifts they got that we were aware of (a house and car) I could have passed out. All in all it was a lovely wedding, I really like the couple because they are a great pair so sweet and nice and I can boldly say, I was genuinely happy for the couple by the time the day came to an end, we danced, we dined and we wished them well after all we all deserve love, wealth and happiness.